How To Celebrate Despite Depression
A Guest Blog by Respected Author and Neuropsychologist
Dr. Michelle Bengston
Weddings, holiday parties, and birthday celebrations are supposed to be happy and joyous. But for those who are celebrating despite depression, these moments can feel overwhelming. How do we handle celebrations when depression weighs heavy on our hearts?
I remember the year my mother died. Only a few months later, the holidays were upon us, and I sat at the foot of the Christmas tree sobbing. “I’m not ready to be the matriarch of the family!” I couldn’t muster up the happiness, joy, or peace we sung about in the Christmas carols. I just wanted to forget the holiday, and forget my grief, and yet I couldn’t.
Everywhere I looked, reminders declared that Christmas wasn’t merry that year.
That wasn’t the only difficult time, but those times taught me many lessons.
How do we handle celebrations when depression weighs heavy in our hearts?
1. Give Yourself Grace
I was grieving, and that was okay. When coping with depression during celebrations, it’s essential to give yourself room to process your feelings. I had to acknowledge not just the loss of my mother but also the loss of how I thought the holidays were ‘supposed to be.’ I learned to do what I could and allow myself to accept a less-than-perfect holiday.
2. Determine Your Level of Involvement When Coping with Depression During Celebrations
Whether it’s the holidays, a family gathering, or a friend’s wedding, determine your level of participation when celebrating despite depression. It’s okay to set boundaries and decide what you can manage without overextending yourself. Perhaps you show up at the beginning of the event before the complete crowd is present, then slip out when the noise or activity level become too frenetic. Maybe rather than an extravagant dinner, you opt for appetizers and desserts to shorten the evening. Be as present as possible, while respecting your need to care for yourself.
3. Ask for Help
Share your struggles with trusted friends and family members when handling celebrations with depression. Let them know what support would be helpful. Maybe ask a friend to accompany you to the company Christmas party. Rather than preparing all the food yourself, make it a potluck type affair where others will contribute as well. Determine ahead of time a code-word or signal to let others know when you’ve reached your capacity or need additional support.
4. Remember You Aren’t in This Alone
Depression can feel incredibly isolating, especially during holidays and celebrations. But when you are coping with depression during celebrations, it’s crucial to remind yourself that you are not alone. God has promised to be with you, even in these difficult moments.
5. Keep Your Focus on Others
When participating in celebrations while depressed, it’s easy to turn inward. This makes celebrating even more difficult. Yet Scripture encourages us to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. During these times of celebration, keep your focus on others rather than on your own pain. Consider it a gift for them, knowing that if the tables were turned you’d want them to do the same for you.
Depression is painful, and while others may not always relate to your experience, there are ways to participate in celebrations while depressed. Coping with depression during celebrations doesn’t mean isolating yourself. With these tips for celebrating with depression, you can still find moments of joy amidst the struggle.
A Prayer When Times of Celebration Seem Too Much to EndurE: May I pray for you?
Father, I thank you that in your word you tell us, “For everything there is a season.” For the one reading these words right now, will you hold them close during this season? When times of celebration seem too much to endure, will you remind them that they are not alone—you have gone before them, and go with them. Weeping may endure for the night, but I ask you to bring them your joy in the morning. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
If this devotion has touched your heart, I would love to hear from you!
To read more of Dr. Bengtson’s work, please visit her website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/